Daftar Relasi dari Benua Seberang

Pengatar

Well, rupanya punya penggemar Internasional dari benua seberang, nih.

Daftar Relasi

Korespondensi

This was the follow up between Mr. RHA and Mr. DZ. Well... Mr. RHA had fun by communicating with those people... Worth to read and good for few chuckles hopefully...

First email from Mr. DZ to Mr. RHA

FROM Mr. DZ TEL: +27 83 666 9226

TOP URGENT AND CONFIDENTIAL
Dear Mr RHA, compliments of the day and how are you. I know my letter will come to you as surprise. Please I need your urgent assistance to transfer my dead father's money into your account. My name is Mr. DZ , the son of Mr. MZ a white farmer who is married to a Zimbabwean woman.

My dead father was a prosperous farmer and owns the largest farmland in disputed area in our country. As if he knew before his death, he deposited a total sum of Twelve Million Seven Hundred Thousand US Dollars (US$12,700,000.00) with a Security Company in South Africa.

Prior to the time he was shot by the opposition party members of President A.M over the white farmers dispute. Presently, we are living in South Africa as asylum seekers where I got your contact from JCCI (Johannesburg Chamber of Commerce and Industry).

We would like you to assist us transfer this money to your private or company's account to enable us come over there for investment and safeguard our life too because the South African Government does not allow asylum seekers to operate or invest in South Africa. Based on this we are contacting you as a foreign partner to this venture. We have resolved to offer you 20% of the total money and take 75%, while, 5% will be for any expenses that might be incurred during the transaction.

Please note that the only basis for this urgent plea is to hope that you can handle this money in strict confidence and trust. Meanwhile, our arrangement is to come down with you to your country on conclusion of this transfer. You may contact me urgently through email for more information. Waiting for your quick reply.

Best regards, Mr. DZ for the Family

Mr. RHA's Reply

Mr. DZ,
Thank you for contacting me with this exciting opportunity to not only profit but to bring more peace to our troubled world. I am indeed a man know for my discretness, trustworthy and legitimate business abilities. I am flattered and a bit surprised that my reputation should reach you in Africa. You honor me by entrusting this noble endeavor to my discretion. I await more details on how to conduct the exchange of the funds you mention.

Your new partner,
Mr. RHA

Mr. DZ's Reply

Dear MR. RHA:

I am very sorry for my delay to your mail due to my illnesss in which I was admitted in the hospital but I am recovering now. Please bear with me. I want to let you know that i have contacted a banker who will assist in this transfer and he adviced that a non-resident Dollar account must be opened here first. This is where this money will be deposited first immediately it comes out from the Security Company before unwards transfer to your offshore account overseas. So please what I need from you now is to buy your ticket and come down here to South Africa and open this account on your name, because my status here as refugee does not permit me to operate on any banking system, that is why i needed your assistant most. As i have promised to give you 20% of the total sum for your assistant and 5% for all your expenses. Be resassured that this transaction is 100% risk free. Thanks once more for your willingness to assist me. May God bless you.

Your truily
Mr. DZ.

Mr. RHA's Reply

Dear, Mr. DZ:

I'm eager to start our new business partnership and claim my percentage of the $2.54 million dollars. And that is in US dollars? I mean to say has the number changed given the fluctuating exchange rate between our two nation's currencies? You are right in trusting that I will not sit on this money once it is in my account. I have never sat on any monies before and will not start now. Will I encounter any tax liabilities for receiving this money in my secure account?

Thank you,
Your new associate

Mr. RHA.

Mr. DZ's Reply

Mr. RHA. my dear:

As part your question about if you will encounter any tax liabilities for receiving this money in my secure account. I want to let you know that if there will be something like that the tax can be removed from the money but the only place we will spend money in this business is by consulting an attorney who will represent you here in the bank and in the procurement of the documents needed for the transfer.

This will not need too much money hoping this will not impose any limitation in the proper functions of your duties. Thanks and remain bless.

From your beloved partner.

Mr. DZ

Mr. RHA's Reply

Mr. DZ,

I have received similar requests in similar emails regarding moving a sum of $20 million dollars from your country to mine, perhaps there are several accounts similar to the one you are working with which each have a sum of $20 million dollars? Based on the emails I've received lately it seems there is over 100 million dollars in your country in need of most safe transferring.

I was wondering, do you have any competitor in this venture?

Yours in future prosperity,
Mr. RHA

Mr. DZ's Reply

(Note: He started to use all capital letters as if he was growing impatience waiting for the email and action :).

DEAREST MR. RHA,

I REALLY THANK YOU FOR YOUR CONCERN MOSTLY IN THIS BUSINESS TRANSACTION. TRULY ALOT OF THINGS ARE HAPPENING NOWASDAYS AND IT CALLS FOR THE EMERGENCE OF CAREFULNESS. AS FAR AS I KNOW BEST, NO SINGLE SOUL IS COMPETING WITH ME IN THIS VERY TRANSACTION. THIS I KNOW AND CAN GUARANTEE ANYTIME, ANYDAY. IF SOMEONE ELSE CONTACTS YOU IN RESPECT OF THIS MY VERY TRANSACTION, THEN YOU BETTER WATCH IT OUT. IF YOU MUST RUB REASONS WITH ME AT THIS POINT, IT WOULD DO US A WHOLE LOT OF GOOD IF WE GO ON TO EXECUTE THIS TRANSACTION AT HAND NOW, THEREAFTER YOU CAN/ WE CAN JOINTLY LOOK INTO ANY OTHER MATTER BUSINESS-WISE. LIKE I ALWAYS TOLD YOU, WE HAVE VERY LIMITED TIME FOR THIS DEAL AND WE OUGHT TO BE AHEAD OF TIME. PLEASE, KINDLY SEND TO ME THE INFORMATION REQUIRED FOR THIS TRANSACTION SO THAT WE CAN MAKE PROGRESS. BUT PLEASE, MAKE HASTE WITH THOSE INFORMATION. I LOOK FORWARD TO HEARING FROM YOU SOONEST. BESIDES, I WILL BE OBLIGED IF YOU CAN GIVE ME A CALL FOR MORE CONFIDENTIALITY TODAY ON MY PRIVATE LINE : +27 83 666 9226 WITH THE KINDEST REGARDS,

Mr. DZ.

Mr. RHA's Reply

Mr. DZ

I have good news that may aid the conduction of our most privelege and private affairs of financial matters. I'm planning a trip to Johannesburg. With the recent death of my dog Bleki, I have been quite lonely. So I have made plans to visit my foster child (yes I have a foster child in South Africa, I adopted him two years ago and his name was Gabe Mukababe). I have little doubt the smile of his face will warm my heart.

Yours in superiority
Mr. RHA.

Mr. DZ's Reply

DEAR RHA,

IT SEEMS TO ME THAT THE PROSPECT OF THIS DEAL IS BEING DELAYED LONGER THAN NECESSARY, AND I AM BEGINNING TO FIND IT DIFFICULT TO UNDERSTAND YOUR POSITION AND INTEREST IN FULL. LIKE I WELL SAID, THE ISSUE OF PARTAKING IN THIS DEAL MUST NOT BE RE-OVEREMPHASISED, IN THAT THE PARTICIPATION IS OUT OF SELF WILLINGNESS. RIGHT FROM THE VERY FIRST TIME I SENT YOU MY REQUEST TO MAKE ALLIANCES WITH YOU IN THIS DEAL, IT WAS STATED VERY CLEAR WHAT NECESSARY INFORMATION YOU ARE REQUIRED TO BRING TO EFFECT THE TRANSFER OF THE MONEY INTO YOUR ACCOUNT. BUT IT'S GOOD THAT YOU WILL BE COMING HERE SOON AND FINISH OUR TRANSACTION. REGARDS

Mr. DZ.

Mr. RHA's Reply

Dear Mr. DZ,

These past few days have suredly been very hard for me. It's difficult to make my thoughts stay to focus on one thing. I wish to focus them on our most urgent and private matters of business. You know, I used to walk the beaches with my deceased dog Bleki. O yeah, I must ask of you a kindness favor when I visit South Africa. Your English is most proper good. And my foster son Mukababe knows almost no English at all.

When I visit him I would most prefer to speak with him in a language we can understand each other. But instead I am in fear we will demand a translator. Would you my friend avail your self to accompany me on this visit and serve me as kind translator? I'm not sure what language Mukababe speaks, he has sent me tape recorded greetings but they just sound like clicking noises to me together with the sound of a dying giraffe on the background. Except when the woman's voice speaks English and French and tells me he is healthy and strong and learning in school. I think she is the voice of a nun that teaches him.

In any of the event you and I shall soon meet face in front of face to conduct our intimate affairs.

Yours circumspectly,

Mr. RHA.

Ps. Would you be kind taking us to your local zoo? Mukababe and me would very much appreciate that.

(At this point Mr. DZ stopped responding to the emails.)

Rujukan